Who do I think I am? Some kind of writer?!!

 What’s on your mind, Asha? Facebook asks.

Answer: do you have the time to listen?(cliche!). Because it is a long list.

of people, of matters past, present and the future. Short term goals, long term goals (?)The beginning, the middle and the end... and so on. But then that is part of my existential angst. Like everyone.

The matter of perspectives is on my mind. For instance, when I look at something as “glamorous” or “romantic”, or blessed, I am not aware of, or do not want to be aware of the amount of hard labor, the sweat and the blood , the loneliness and the feelings of alienation behind all that. But then what is the use of my understanding? I mean, my understanding or not understanding, their understanding or not understanding doesn’t mean anything. Does not matter. Most of those doings, that I do or they do, are mindless stuff in any case. Anyway all that hard work obviously makes me or that person happy, hopefully. Also, I know it is naive of me or anyone for that matter to assume that everyone understands where you are coming from, all the time! As they say, you need to walk a mile in someone’s shoes... .

Related to this is another issue that comes to mind— my unfortunate habit of oversharing, of thoughts, ideas, hopes, dreams, pictures, activities... . Who fo I think I am? Some kind of writer? Right! Mostly I do it to just prove to myself that I am alive. And to share, to inform, a wish which is a double edged sword. Actually the predilection for extremes. It is either oversharing or not sharing at all. Have never learned that balance, that lesson of putting up, maintaining boundaries in the right place, at the right time. Well, maybe I have, in some areas, but not all. Now I know I am never going to master that. Apt for a jill of many trades, and master of none.

Then there is the matter of that young man and woman who have been calling me the past two days asking me to update my credit card details over the phone.They are scammers, by the way, and they are on my mind. News Gazette, I hope you are aware of the goings on regarding this matter. They said they are from the News-Gazette, which is the local newspaper for those who wonder.I am not pointing out their accents, I don’t want to assume anything. But it is sad.

All the things I have to do today are on my mind too.. Good that I have those things to do, and that I am able to. Still, can’t help but think of that old saying in Malayalam, നായ നടന്നിട്ട് കാര്യമില്ല, നായയ്ക്കിരിയ്ക്കാൻ നേരവുമില്ല. Translation, (for those who want to know, you may not want to, which is fine, which you already know, I know 😂) anyway, it just says that you are like the dog who walks back and forth thinking he is accomplishing something, and doesn’t have the time to sit and relax, when actually you know what. A metaphor for life on the whole - you are just running towards the end. One way or the other.

So those were some of the things on my mind just now. Now I have to go do my stuff. And wear the mask. Which I like!

Thank you for asking.